Module 1 – 1 : [Guide] How To Catch A Girl On The Rebound
By Daniel Harper, author, Stacking The Deck: A Poker Player’s Guide To Winning With Women
Just about everyone wants to settle down with the right girl eventually, but there are other times when you just want a naughty fling with a hot girl to keep life exciting.
There’s a misconception about the type of girls who are into this sort of thing. The misconception is that there IS a type. Sure, some girls are more open to hookups and flings, but the truth is that even “good” girls have a wild side. The key is catching them at just the right time.
If there’s a girl you’ve had your eye on who’s FINALLY coming off a long term relationship, then you’re in luck. Catching a girl on the rebound is a great way to grab yourself a sex-fueled, no-strings-attached, short term relationship.
All fun, all the time. And no bullshit.
The only thing that’s required from you is that you play your cards right. Women who are coming fresh off a breakup are usually interested in the same handful of things:
Reestablishing her independence and freedom.
Rebuilding her self image.
Breaking out of old routines.
Getting a fresh start.
Review that list carefully because understanding a woman’s mindset after she’s been through a breakup is EXACTLY what allows you to catch her on the rebound.
Here’s how play into these wants and position yourself for a wild and reckless rebound fling. We’ll start with the “don’ts” then move on to what you should do instead…
Rebound Rule #1: Don’t be needy
I’ve seen this happen more times than I can count–a guy has the hots for some girl. The girl has a boyfriend. The guy waits around, hoping he’ll get his shot someday. That day finally comes … and the guy rushes in, confesses all his deeply intense romantic feelings…
…and the girl runs away.
Because she can’t deal with the drama, that’s why.
Think about it from her perspective: She’s just come off serious relationship. The breakup was emotional. She’s still recovering from it and adjusting to life without a boyfriend … and here comes Mr. Romance being all emotional and needy … pressing her … putting her on the spot … and giving her a whole new set of complications and worries to deal with.
Of course she’s going to recoil. Even if she has some feelings for the guy, it’s just too soon to start dealing with all those potential negatives again.
Rebound Rule #2: Don’t be her therapist
Never fall into the trap of being a sympathetic ear. Once you start playing that role, you fall into the friend category.
Whenever she starts talking about her breakup or her boyfriend, cut her short by saying something like, “Relationships are a drag. Life’s too short for regrets. Let’s go have some fun.”
Don’t throw her a pity party and tell her she was too good for her ex boyfriend. Never tell her she deserves better. This makes you look weak and needy. Keep your responses short and upbeat.
“Yeah, well. Live and learn. All you can do is move forward.”
“At least you’re done with it.”
“Well now you’re free to do what you want. So what do you want to go do?”
Rebound Rule #3: Don’t try to build her up
Women coming off break-ups have all kinds of self-esteem issues. These issues are one of the main things that make girls on the rebound so open to short-term sexual flings.
Why? Because there’s quicker, easier way for a woman to feel good about herself than to prove that she’s sexually desirable.
Understanding this and reacting in the right way is CRITICAL.
Do not EVER play the nice guy role where you say things like …
“He didn’t deserve you anyway.”
“You’ll find someone.”
“Lots of guys would love to have you for a girlfriend.”
If you make this mistake, all you’ll end up doing is disqualifying yourself and handing her over to some other guy who knows how to work the situation to his advantage.
The reason you don’t want to say these things is because you don’t want her to be thinking about relationships at all. What you want is her to EMBRACE her newly found freedom, independence and ability to do whatever the hell she wants to do.
Know this—she wants that easy, short-term self-esteem fix. Don’t satisfy it with a bunch of fawning compliments. She’ll only use you for the emotional boost and move on.
Rebound Rule #4: Don’t be romantic
A lot of guys struggle with this rule because it’s counterintuitive. We all know that the longer a relationship goes on, the less men spend time on romance, right?
You’ve been there; I’ve been there. Even when we’re really into a girl, after awhile we lose interest in buying her flowers and making big, sweeping romantic gestures. We’re just lazy that way. No guy likes romance. Not really. We do it because we have to.
So, it’s easy to come to the conclusion that, for a woman coming off a breakup, romance is EXACTLY what she needs.
Oh, but it isn’t. Please, please, please don’t make this mistake.
Because if you do, you’ll get labeled as “sweet” and “nice” … but you’ll never get anywhere.
Romance in this situation is a desperation move. You’ll look like a guy who’s been waiting around for her to finally be single so that you can make your move.
She’ll sense it. And she’ll view you as weak.
So even if you HAVE been waiting all this time… don’t let her know your secret. Skip the romance. There’s a better way into her pants. Keep reading and I’ll show you how…
Rebound Rule #5: Take her away from her problems
The way you catch a girl on the rebound is to be the guy who makes her forget all about her previous relationship.
Her last relationship represents pain, loss, hurt, anger and resentment. What you want to do is make her forget all those things when she’s with you. You do this by being fun loving and easy-going. The more she’s able to enjoy herself around you without hassles or any kind of obligation, the more she’ll be drawn to you without knowing why.
What you’re doing is encouraging her to let go. You want to move her from grief and heartache to excitement and eagerness to enjoy her NEW relationship status of single. The more you can get her to embrace this, the better shot you have of landing a tawdry sex fling.
Rebound Rule #6: Give her permission to be bad
Listen, all a girl on the rebound needs is an excuse to be bad. She’s already emotionally battered and fed up with wasting so much time on trying to make her old relationship work.
See, she tried being a good girl and all she got out of it was a bunch of hassle and heartache.
Deep down she wants that excuse to go out and be wild and naughty.
So give it to her. Lead her into situations and activities that bring excitement. Be spontaneous. Encourage her to be rebellious, and reinforce the idea that she can do whatever the hell she wants now that she’s single.
The language you use is important to setting the tone. Here are some of the things you should be saying…
“Now there’s no one to tell you what to do.”
“You only live once.”
“Life is short. You might as well have a good time.”
“Just live on your own terms.”
“Sometimes is better to just do what you want and worry about the consequences later.”
Whenever you’re with her, participate in some mild rule breaking or “edgy” activities—stay out late partying and watch the sun come up the next day, take a road trip without any planning; go for a late night swim (which can always lead to skinny dipping); gamble together at a casino; buy a six pack, lay on a blanket near the end of an airport runway and watch the planes take off overhead; go mud-running in a 4 wheel drive; hit a gritty neighborhood blues bar, etc…
Rebound Rule #7: Be the opposite of her ex-boyfriend
Women NEED to talk about their feelings. Even though you’re trying NOT to be her own personal Dr. Phil, she’s going to drop some complaints about her ex to you sooner or later. Use this to your advantage by behaving exactly opposite of the things she complains about.
For example, if she expresses disgust over how her ex-boyfriend was weak and unassertive, then be the kind of guy who takes charge. If she talks about how he was fussy and vain about his appearance, dress down a little bit. If she says he was too serious about everything, then be laid back and spontaneous.
You don’t have to be fake or change who you are. Just drop in a few subtle “opposite” moves and she’ll pick up on it subconsciously and be drawn to the contrast you represent.
Rebound Rule #8: Be open and unapologetic about trying to get into her pants
This is absolutely the most important rule about how to catch a girl on the rebound. Everything else you do is about sending the very clear message that all you want to do is have a good time with her in bed and everywhere else.
And here’s why sending this message works: A woman is never more open to no-string-attached sex than when she’s angry at her boyfriend or just after she’s broken up with him.
Part of this is about reasserting her freedom, part of it is about improving her self esteem, and part of it is about getting back at her ex.
Always express your sexual interest in a playful, but upfront manner. You don’t want to be so forceful that you creep her out; however, you DO want to make absolutely sure that she understands that you’re not joking.
Don’ t be afraid to be a little naughty and or perverted. In fact, it’s best if you play up the idea that she’s been missing out on sexual excitement and variety all this time that she’s been stuck in a relationship.
Think about every relationship you’ve ever been it—sex ALWAYS gets a little boring after awhile, doesn’t it? Well, it’s no different for women. A girl coming off a long-term relationship is STARVED for some excitement in the bedroom.
Get her in the mindset that you can take her on a mind-blowing sexual adventure. Give her permission to cut loose and be naughty. Tell her it’ll be your secret.
For example, when she complains bitterly about her ex-boyfriend, say, “The best way to get back at him would be to come over to my place and do every single dirty thing imaginable to each other. Then you can call him and fill him in on what you did. Or we can just keep it our little secret if you want.”
“Come on over tonight. I’ll make you forget all about that relationship.”
“You just need something no-so-serious. But with all the other benefits.”
Keep at it and don’t back off unless she’s obviously distressed about your comments. Women don’t always bite the first time when you’re this forward—it makes them feel slutty.
But if she dismisses you with a “haha-you’re a pervert” or something similarly light-hearted, you have a good chance of succeeding if you keep at it.
Don’t plead or whine. Just keep following up with challenging statements like …
“You don’t know what you’re missing.”
“Think about what a hot summer we could have.”
And always make it a private conspiracy…
“No one has to know. It’s more fun anyway when you keep it a secret.”
You don’t have to be (and shouldn’t be) relentless about it. Continue to be fun and a little reckless/dangerous while keeping the invitation open.
Always remember your role. You’re NOT her girlfriend. So don’t act like it. You couldn’t care less about the details of her past relationship.
You’re her guilt-free ticket to sexual freedom and excitement. And you can keep a secret. That’s who you are.
What women on the rebound want the most is a swashbuckling pirate—someone who gives them an excuse to go wild and do things they wouldn’t normally do. When you have the courage to play the naughty co-conspirator you’ll often be rewarded with an intense sexual fling that’s far more fun and exciting than a traditional relationship.
It’s not hard. Just follow these rules and be bold. You can do it.
All the best,